Dog Days

One thing I didn’t, perhaps, spend enough time considering was how getting a puppy would affect our relationship. B. works long and arduous hours; often he is too tired and too drained to spend time caring for Joe. This usually falls to me, as we both knew it would, and this is fine with all of us.

It has though had an unexpected effect, that I am far more involved with the pup than he is, and as such, it seems that I am over-involved with Joe’s welfare – the words used to describe me in this regard are over-protective and maternal. I don’t think of Joe as a child but when I’ve been monitoring how other dog owners circumscribe the ‘rules’ for dog-play at the dog park; it does break down awfully neatly on gender lines.

The women, myself included, seem to be very nervous about play that involves chomping down on the neck or legs, pinning, or anything that ends in squealing. The men, in contrast, stand back with arms crossed and murmur gnomically, “Let ‘em figure it out, when someone yips or bleeds, then it’s time to pull ‘em apart.”

The women, it could be said seem to be having emotional experiences with their dogs and the men seem to be more like farmers, not uninvolved but not emotionally involved in the same way, somehow.

But in the long and the short of it, B. feels I need to spend less time with Joe, and that we as a couple need to spend more time without Joe. I hear the faint resemblance to his tone to similar statements made by friends to their wives about a new baby – and have observed how my female friends do, without noticing, become enveloped in their relationship with the baby. I’m happy to be with someone that wants to ensure that we have enough ‘couple-time’ alone, but bemused that I had gotten so wrapped up in a puppy, especially without really noticing it.

I did notice that before I climbed into bed to cuddle with B. I’d always give Joe a little soft pat ‘Good-night’ – usually while B. was reaching for me… but I guess things creep up on you and you lose a bit of perspective, fairly quickly.