Joe’s first Dog Park Excursion – a perverse display

We have been waiting for Joe to finish his series of puppy vaccinations before allowing him to play with other dogs. Given how much energy he has, taking him to the dog park has been long anticipated.

Finally, we were given the clear by the vet and off we went to Marymoor Park in Redmond. I’d never been there before either; it's a massive amount of acreage. The park is bordered by a salmon-run creek with multiple stepped wading pools; cedar chip paths, dirt paths that wind and meander through blackberry bushes and broad meadow-like expanses for racing and chasing.

Joe trotted eagerly towards the loosely organized packs of coursing dogs with not a sign of timidity or fear. He headed into the frolics without trepidation at the number of dogs, nor at their size.

He’d never been off leash before and the sheer size of the park scared me far more than it did Joe or B. Actually, if B hadn’t been urging Joe on I might have kept Joe on the leash. The park is large enough that he could gallop out of sight pretty quickly. And that made me anxious.

Joe’s social technique (while hilarious to watch) was a bit less charming to his canine compatriots. He’d lope over shyly and disarmingly with his loose, sloppy, puppy gait, holding his head low. Then he’d nose his target, rolling his eyes coyly up at this chosen playmate. They’d sniff each other and Joe would cuff at the playmate’s head and let himself be tumbled over. He’d be rolled onto his back over and over again, (scaring the hell out of me). His eyes shone with a worrying delight and fear. Having convincingly demonstrated his submissiveness, he would then catch the playmate at a distracted moment. Up he’d clamber onto his playmate’s shoulders to then vigorously hump him in the face.

This never went over well.

But the furious reaction did not deter Joe in the least. His strategy was remarkably consistent; get them to let down their guard and then hump away on the head. This was particularly funny as he chose dogs usually twice his size. So he’d be banging manically, legs dangling over either side of his victim’s head. And then he’d take his punishment without too much protest. As if his rude gesture trumped any possible reaction, no matter the growls of anger, no matter the impressive display of teeth.

Of course, we not only had to separate him from each of his victims, we also had to try and apologize to the owners without laughing. It was funny, if confusing. He’d been fixed at roughly 7 or 8 weeks, so this couldn’t be sexual activity. And his choice of the head indicated that his sexual instincts have gone awry. The only possible explanation is that it is a Napoleonic impulse.

Last night on our walk he visited the same indignity upon a Mastiff, who remained coolly unruffled. The Mastiff just twitched his enormous shoulders and off Joe flew onto the sidewalk. As Joe tried to reassume his mount, the Mastiff blocked him with a meaty paw. The bewildered disappointment in Joe’s eyes was very amusing.

The Mastiff’s owner calmly observed, “He does want to be dominant, doesn’t he? Little guy’s got a lot to learn.”

May he learn it without bodily injury.